I almost cancelled this photoshoot…

I almost cancelled this family photo shoot a million times. Life was hectic, the boys were complaining relentlessly, Stevie was anxious and irritable (we later learned it was likely she was having bad headaches from the tumor we didn’t yet know about—which crushes my mama heart today), no one wanted to wear the clothes I picked out, my dress wasn’t fitting correctly, my patience was already at the end of its rope and we hadn’t even left the house yet. But we hadn’t taken family photos since before Stevie was born and I knew if we cancelled the shoot, we would likely never rebook. I told our photographer @michellebeller that we were a shiz-show but being the wise friend that she is, she wouldn’t let me cancel. So we trudged along, and you know what…..it was miserable ???? the photos show a smiling, happy family. But between shots there were tears and arm yanking and threats to take away screen time and bribing and sore arms from carrying Stevie because she refused to be put down. I crashed in bed later that night and turned to Ben: I’m not sure that was worth it, there’s no way we got a single good picture. A few days later, Michelle sent over our pictures and I cried tears of gratitude. While the photos didn’t accurately capture us and our bad attitudes of THAT moment (thank goodness), for me, the photos so clearly show us whole—a family smiling because of the unconditional, infinite love we have for each other. A few short months later Stevie would be diagnosed with terminal brain cancer (DIPG). These were our first and last family photos before she passed away. And not a moment goes by that I’m not overwhelmed with gratitude that we have this season of our life captured for all time.