Sometimes it’s hard to stay positive when you have visions of how certain milestone experiences should play out with your children,
and instead the result is a disaster.
Remember Disneyland?
Yeah, well Halloween pretty much ended up the same way.
I couldn’t get Wesley into a single costume no matter how hard I tried (and he even had three options to chose from).
Eventually I compromised with what I believe was a genius solution.
Woody pajamas with cowboy boots.
He was petrified of the dark.
And the scary costumes.
And asking strangers for candy.
Even now, nearly a week later and my biceps are still sore from having to carrying him through the entire trick-or-treating process.
Except of course, when he decided to pose ever so adorably for these photos with his BFF…
Once again, don’t let these photos give you the impression that things went smoothly…
On the way home from trick or treating I did my best to find the silver lining, but it just wasn’t happening.
Because sometimes in life, experiences that are supposed to be fun…just aren’t.
And I suppose that the silver lining is that you get through them anyway.
You get stronger. More resilient.
And then, when one of your child’s life milestones DOES go the way you imagined it in your head…
Well, when that happens…you can sure bet you appreciate that moment infinitely more.
Dear Wesley Baby,
Momma really really really loves you.
I love your energy. I love your sweet smile.
I love your belly laugh and your sense of humor.
I love that you hug me with every ounce of strength you have.
And I especially love that you now tell me “i love you”, completely unprompted.
You are teaching me every day to be a better version of myself.
To be kinder. To have more patience. To learn from my mistakes.
You have been my favorite of life’s challenges, and you will always be my pride and joy.
Here’s to the hope of a better Halloween next year.
xoxo,
Momma
Ashley Hart
Yup you look freaking beautiful! Oh how I admire you! Plus you and Nina have the cutest kids around the block..
Nina@MommaGoRound
The silver lining.. Landon had a great time and once his BFF left, he was over it. Those boys kill me with how much they love each other!
Erin's Creative Energy
You know what? This is the first year my 5 year old has done Halloween in a “real” costume. AKA, the first time without a pajama costume. You and Nina are so lucky to have boys that love each other so much at such a young age. It’s truly precious.
Monkey
He looked darling as Woody! I loved the boots! Thanks for bringing to Grandmas house❤
Amanda M
Ashley, I totally understand your frustration. My 5 year old daughter went trick or treating “willingly” for the first time this year. She too, was scared of the dark, the costumes, the strangers. I think it was all a bit overwhelming for her-sensory overload I guess. I think as parents we build moments up to be so spectacular in our minds and are often disappointed because our kids have no desire to participate in something we want so badly for them to enjoy. We have spent many occasions like this-hoping she’ll finally let loose and have fun, only to find her clinging to our leg and crying. I am proud of her for finally finding her confidence and independence though it is bittersweet. Like the country song by Darius Rucker-“It Won’t Be Like This For Long”.
lori
okay it is sooo precious how much those little boys love each other! so glad he posed for some pictures at least. and your woody pajamas idea was SO smart… it totally looked like a costume! 😉
Amber
I have four little kids, 7, 5, 2, 1. Let me tell you a little something I’ve learned, there is no such thing as a successful holiday if we’re banking on them turning out picture perfect. For instance, last Christmas after readying everything I was going around doing final tuck-ins at about 11:30pm. I found my then 6 year old sitting up and silently crying in bed. Turns out she desperately needed to go potty but was terrified of Santa coming. She hated the idea of a stranger being in the house so strongly that she didn’t dare leave her bed. Not even for SANTA. I had to carry her to the front room and show her that “he had already come.” Afterwards I realized I should have just told her the truth, but I hated to “ruin” Christmas for her…. like her being terrified of using the restroom wasn’t ruining it.
So a few months later when she lost her first tooth and was asked if I could please have the tooth fairy leave her money in the kitchen and not to go in her room, or when she didn’t want to leave my side on St. Patrick’s Day because heaven forbid she get stuck in a room with a leprechaun, then there was the Easter bunny….. well you get the idea. I’ve realized that each child is going to be different and each family is going to be different. My kids won’t necessarily love what I loved or what I really hope that they’ll love. And that’s ok. Halloween was too much for my two year old, but he was in heaven passing out candy, so we just enjoyed sitting and eating lots of chocolate together that Daddy didn’t know about. We’re making new traditions together! My oldest now helps with leprechaun tricks, packed the baby’s easter basket, and I have a pretty good feeling that next month she’ll be helping us set out Santa’s presents. Just because it’s not the traditional way to spend a holiday doesn’t mean that it’s not a wonderful tradition! Don’t let the difference get you down, you are an amazing mom, that’s very clear from the trusting faces on your perfect little ones!
brenda
Amberi could not improve on this comment in any way. My daughter did not like Halloween but was delighted to give treats to all callers. Guess what as an adult she still does not like it. and she is quite successful in her life careerwise, marriage etc.
Mindy
aw those PJs totally pass as a costume!
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I thought it was a “real” costume! You are an artist!! well done!!
http://www.xarlemcreations.blogspot.com
Erin Huss
I didn’t realize he was wearing pjs I thought it was his costume.
When they are that age it’s whatever works.
Maybe I should invest in some Woody Pj’s so when I take(and pick-up) the big kids to school and the twins are still in pi’s everyone will just think that they are playing dress up and I am not a lazy Momma. 🙂
And on a side note that crowd was pretty intense I don’t blame him for feeling a little freaked out.
Alexandra
i love the authenticity of your blog! keep it up<3
Southern Wifey
awww, i still think that woody costume was an awesome idea. i dont care if it was pajamas or not! lol
misty
I had a similiar Halloween experience. I just want to say that I love your posts, I love your blog, you remind me to slow down, breath deep,and enjoy the moment. And I need that reminder as much as I can get.
Thank you!!!
xoxo, Misty
Lesley
I’ve had many moments like this with my oldest son. So many family photos that never happened, birthdays that he was absolutely miserable at and forget any holiday tradition like seeing santa or easter egg hunts. But the handful of times that he worked up the courage to participate in something, was such a beautiful thing to see and I hang on to those memories.
Cassaundra
oh ashley, i can relate. i know we have talked about my oldest similarities to your Wesley a little bit. this reminds me so much of him as toddler. myes hates music and dancing? who hates music and dancing? we left the school dance this year in tears, both of us. he never participates in the primary singing program. won’t even go up. and on and on.. but then every once in a while, like today, his teacher told me he is nice to the kids with special needs in his class. i am going to hang on to that for a good 6 months… because sometimes that is how long a silver lining has to last:)
i feel you babe. you are great.
Dixie
No fair. I wish I could have worn MY pj’s for trick or treating this year.
Yeah I know, totally not the point, but all the good stuff has already been said 😉
More on topic, my two year old wore ‘cars’ pajamas and puppy dog ears. At least your kid’s jammie’s made sense.
tiffany
My 2 Year old was the SAME Way, she was so stingy with her smiles and lovely self at a Halloween party over the weekend, we just skipped going door to door on the actual holiday, I think she would have hated it. Here she is… http://tinyurl.com/cq9c42c
Beth
Ashley – Check out amalah.com is you haven’t already. She has extensively documented her sons struggles with adhd and even has a separate website dedicated to special needs. Also, you seem to be a great mom, hang in there!
Holly
I’m sorry it didn’t go well, but he sure did look adorable! Great pictures!
Nicole P.
The pajama costume is a stroke of genius. I’ve learned to keep my expectations down to “not having a meltdown puddle.” It’s underachieving for sure, but it works! The pictures still turned out adorable, even if he didn’t want to have fun.
Have you ever read Amalah? Her first son has sensory issues (not wanting to wear costumes, not speaking properly for the first few years, etc). You might be able to relate and find it helpful.
Tahnie
i wrote a post about this too!
http://www.ahappygirl.com/2012/10/momma-lessons_28.html
hugs to you momma.
xoxo.
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