Handbags & Handguns

My love affair with Hotpants
first began a few months ago
when I discovered her little gem of a blog
{Handbags & Handguns} on SITs. 

The is the first thing I saw when I went onto her blog:

And it was love at first site.

Hotpants is real.
Like as real as they get.
She tells it like it is,
which makes her pure awesome in my book.
Oh, and she also blogs the latest celebrity gossip, thank you very much!

She is a firefighter wife,
a momma of two littles,
and a Mortgage Post Closer {we’re not really sure what that is}

She’s obsessed with famous people,
shiny gadgets
and anything related to vampires.
Yes, this means Twilight.
If your computer doesn’t have a sarcasm font,
you might want to get one.

Now Here’s HOTPANTS:


I’m sure you’ve noticed the increasing number of reality shows on network and cable television. Celebs get their own reality show. Women who give birth to eight babies at one time get their own reality show. Women and men looking for love get their own reality show. Parents who can’t control their children get their own reality show. Overweight people get their own reality show. Models, cake makers and chefs get their own reality show. How many reality shows are out there about regular ol’ people like you and me who don’t have a ‘gimmick’ to get a producer’s attention? I can’t really think of any. Is it because we’re boring? No, I actually think it’s because we’re so awesome they wouldn’t know how to handle us. So, I’m here to tell you what it would be like on my reality show if I had one.

All of my meals would come straight from the freezer because I don’t cook.


I’d complain about having to constantly clean the hardwood floors in my house.


You’d see me hit snooze no less than 3 times every morning because I don’t want to get out of bed for work.


And, the second I get home from work every day, you’d see me change into my pajamas.


I’d visit Target no less than 3 times a week.


I’d whine about being behind on my tv shows.


I’d wear my fave jeans over and over, without washing them, until I spilled something on them.


You’d see drag my son out of bed every morning, dress him while he’s still technically asleep and hear him moan and complain about how he’s too tired to go to school.


On Friday nights, you’d find me on the couch with remote in hand eating Pancho’s cheese dip and drinking Mike’s Hard Lemonade.


My husband and I would argue over whose turn it is to change our little one’s poopy diaper.


You’d see me reading a book about vampires while my husband and kids ask what’s for dinner.


My husband would be forced to do laundry while I’m at work because he’s out of clean socks and underwear.


I’d spend all of my money on clothes, purses and shoes while my cell phone gets cut off for non-payment.


One of my kids would be screaming at the other at least once an hour every day.


The puppy would bite me on the ankle while I try to get a Coke out of the fridge.


I’d text my bestie to tell her my husband won’t get off the couch because he’s playing Call of Duty.


You’d see me watch a lot of Sponge Bob and iCarly.


You’d see my daughter run laps in the living room wearing only her diaper.


You’d see her brother cry every time he dies and has to start over when playing his DS.


You’d hear me say no a lot.


You’d see me snort when I hear the words ‘that’s what she said’.


You’d see me pull my shirt up over my nose when either the dog or my husband farts.


You could expect me to tweet everything important because Twitter is where it’s at.


During lunch breaks at work, you’d often find me reading in my car at Sonic while I eat a burger and drink a grape cream slush.


You’d never see me without my camera.

I could go on, but I think you get the point. I’m a working mom with a husband, two kids and a puppy. I watch too much tv, read books about vampires and obsess over celebrities. I could really use a maid, but can’t afford one. I live modestly, enjoy my family and laugh a lot. I’m sarcastic and impatient. I’m loyal and trustworthy. So, tell me, why can’t I have my own reality show? I’m pretty damn fabulous if I do say so myself.