What you see is what you get.
This blog is me.
Every bit of it.
The good, the bad, the ugly.
The crafty, the spunky, the silly,
the happy, the anxious, the content,
the frustrated, the scared, the worried.
The fears, the dreams…
and even the insecurities.
We all have them.
Even the most confident and self assured have their insecurities.
We were designed to have them.
You’d be lying if you said you didn’t.
Some of us keep them a secret,
and some of us wear them on our sleeve.
Some of us let those insecurities bring us down.
Some of us let those insecurities define us.
Some of us use those insecurities to justify hurting someone else.
And then, some of us embrace our insecurities.
We learn to love them,
learn to see them as a part of what makes us whole,
as something that gives us character,
gives us humility,
gives us perspective.
Since I was 12 years old,
there have always been things I wish I could change about myself.
About my looks,
my body,
my intelligence,
my personality,
my patience.
Nothing too serious,
just always nagging in the back of my mind.
“Why can’t I be as smart as her”
“Why can’t I pull that look off like her”
“Why can’t my hair look like that”
“Why can’t I have her legs”
“Why can’t I have those abs”
“Why can’t mine be that perky”
And sadly, most of those insecurities had to do with physical appearance, as I imagine is the case for most teenage girls.
But then, not too long ago,
everything changed.
I had a baby.
And that baby changed my perspective.
Made me look at the world differently.
Made me look at my body differently.
Made me appreciate it’s power,
rather than focus on what I perceived to be flaws.
The thinning patches of hair represent the nights I lay awake pulling while I worried about little guy and his sleep condition–because when you love someone, you worry about them.
The stretch marks on my stomach represent the miracle that I brought into this world.
The scar below my chest represents my very brief cancer scare, and my appreciation for life.
The love handles on my back represent the times I chose to enjoy ice cream with my family.
My diminishing golden tan represents my need to be healthy for my family, rather than my need for tan lines.
My recycled wardrobe represents enjoying buying for my little one more than buying for myself.
The new me is living with cellulite–trust me its there, lots of it.
The new me does NOT have her pre-baby body back.
The new me will not be caught dead in a bathing suit.
But the new me is blissfully happy!
The new me has learned to embrace my insecurities.
Does this mean I wouldn’t love flat abs and a waist like this girl?
Or that I wouldn’t drool over the prospect of having this girl’s “real” hair and long legs?
Does this mean I wouldn’t die with excitement, if I could write a story like this girl?
or be as selfless as this girl,
or be a super Momma like this girl,
or be an inspiration like this girl,
or as talented as this girl,
or have the strength of this girl,
or be a true friend like this girl, and this girl?
You bet I would.
Because I always want to be better.
But I also want to be ME.
And you can take it or leave it.
Heather :: AFD Jewelry ::
Oh, Ashley – you are so beautiful inside and out. Please don't let a few ridiculous comments ever make you think otherwise. There are so many constant insecurities that I deal with and I wish I had even an ounce of your courage.
Thanks so much for this blog, and putting it all out there. I think you're fabulous.
Hayley
XOXO
Hayley
http://www.gooseandlovie.com
Maya Alvarez
This is exactly why I love this blog. Nothing but positivity. Thanks for making me smile today.
chatdumpgirl
well said. hugs from missouri
Allyn Marie
Way to go Ashley, and well said!
This is your blog, say and do whatever you feel…it's your blog!
and if someone doesn't like what you say…they don't have to come and read it…that simple!
almost 3,000 of us love every bit of it so don't stop being you!
That's why we read! 🙂
Lesley
This is so gorgeous.
I've been reading your blog for a couple of months and it wasn't until very recently that I went through some post you did ( I can't seem to find it now! )and read your testimony. What a lovely example of a happy, lively Christian woman you are!
Anonymous
Well put… 🙂 Don't let people bring you down. Unfortunately, when blogging in a public setting, you're bound to get unwanted criticism (especially if you tell a secret on the internet). Honestly though, I really don't think she meant it as bad as you think. Should she have said it? maybe, maybe not…but I don't think it was meant as a terrible thing. You're such a cutie and people are bound to have their curiosities about you. Embrace it. Answer what you want, ignore the ones that upset you. You have thousands reading your blog; not everyone will get you. Best of luck to you!!!
Julie
You go girl! I think your blog is awesome!
Brooke
O Ashley! You are LOVELY! You are inspiring! You're a friend to people you don't even know! You are uplifting! You are funny! You are GREAT! And thank you for having one of the BEST blogs around!
<3
Brooke
Diane
Beautiful!
Cynthia
Amazing post! I had to reread it I loved it so much.
Bree and Bryce
Thank you for the inspirational words. I've been beating myself up lately…and this is just what I needed to hear!
You're darling!
Liberty
Well said and the sentiment of so many of us mothers out there!! Muah!
xxoo,
Liberty
Jennifer
I am in the Bay Area and new to reading your blog…learned about it through a friend, and I am also a new mama as well. My daughter is 9 months old and I absolutely love reading your blog. Thank you for making me feel like I am not alone in all the craziness of daily life!
jordan and kat
LOVE! So needed to read that today!!!
Goodman Family
Amen! Love you and how you are and you ability to write and put things in writing!
Leigh Anne
Thanks for making me smile today! I think I need to read this post everyday as I learn to appreciate my "mamma" body 🙂 Well said!
*Andrea*
I LOVE YOU BLOG!!! and i think you are soooo very very BEAUTIFUL!!!
this made me smile!!
hope you have a wonderful day!
HUGS from North Carolina!!
Mama Jill
This made me tear up a little…. I love your blog. 🙂 thanks for sharing!
Jill
wow….i am loving your blog!! your words inspire me!! 😀 sometimes i hate my stretch marks, but then, if i didn't have them…i wouldn't have my little man 🙂 thank you for doing your blog! thank you for sharing this part of your life with all of us 🙂
Mission: Life, Objective: Live.
This is why I come to your blog EVERY SINGLE DAY! Sometimes multiple times a day. You are such a "real" person, and you make everyone feel like you are their best friend. Keep your chin up and don't let anything get you down. You are beautiful!! Every single person on this planet has self conscious issues, you aren't the only one. Your momma body is just a trophy to your little baby W. I seriously just LOVE your blog, and I can't ever say that enough!! 🙂
Stephanie
Hooray! Girl/woman/momma power!
Now I say we all vote to ban Commenter #45 from the blog.
And btw, Ashley, thanks for sharing "your secret." I'm sorry you did so and had to take criticism regarding it afterward. I think it's great you can say "Yes, I have this issue, but I'm not going to let it affect my life, my outlook, my personality, and who I am."
You are a courageous woman!
Ashley
I absolutely love this post!!! You have introduced me to some new, fabulous, heartwarming and fun blogs!! You are truly inspirational and I so needed this pick me up, I have struggled for as long as I can remember with unhappiness with myself (primarily physical) and I have the lowest self-esteem and one thing I faithfully do, is tell my babes all day long how beautiful and perfect they are…I would never ever want them to go through what I do, so once again, thank you so much hun!! Xoxoxo 1942charm.blogspot.com
Life's Sweeter with Chocolate
So I was reading one of your posts yesterday and almost wrote you a note, but having a 9 month old I just didn't quite get it done. I'm not sure what all this is about, but I think you're blog is very inspiring, creative and it shows how strong of a woman you are to be able to put yourself out there and just let people take it or leave it. That is truly amazing. I really believe that people are only ugly when they are dealing with things themselves. Thank you for saying things that the majority of people would be too scared to say!
mstalcup
Ashley – great post! Love it! You are such a beautiful and strong lady. Don't let others "steal your joy"
Hugs from TEXAS.
Kristyn @ Good Gravy Crafts
I totally take it!!! Good for you Sweetie!!!! Good for you!
xx-Kristyn
Katie
Ashley,
Thank you for posting on this blog. It helps many new mommas like myself feel like we are not alone in all of the new momma moments. I appreciate the daily laughs and I don't want you to fret about what others say. You are an adorable person who likes to share a moment of silliness with us. Thanks for that! Most days I need it!
<3
Katie
tale of many cities
here! here! well said girlie!! 🙂
actually have some of these sentiments in my banner tagline… only thing i promise.. is to be myself! great post & cute blog!
blessing,
tracie
Erica
You hit the nail on the head! Beautiful words!
Pedey @ Do You Smell That!!?
Lovely, as always!!
Paige
LOVE! Simply perfect.
Ashleigh
Exactly!! Well said! Love it!
Samantha
love love love!
ed and kelli
love it. just like everyone has said, don't let stupid comments bring you down. you are having fun, full of life and a happy person and i'm glad you do this blog cause i enjoy reading about it and knowing i'm not alone in the momma world!
Peyton's Mom
AMEN! Your the bomb!
http://www.babyshopaholic.blogspot.com
Daydream Believer
Word! 😉
Your message here is so well said Ashley! As the Mumma of two little girls, I hope my girls grow up to understand everyone struggles with something, it is no reason to live life with your head hung low.
Lindsi
This is quite possibly the best post I have ever read! Thank you for the reminder, and the inspiration!!!
Anonymous
Oh my gosh!!! You said everything PERFECTLY!! I wish more of us had your courage!
Jesslyn Amber
AMEN!!!
You go girl.
Very well said!
Nina @ Momma Go Round
I'll take it! You are awesome and perfect just the way you are. I love you more each day and don't know what I would do without you. Thank you for being the best BFF I could ask for. xoxo
Brittany@Love Stitched
YOU ARE A BEAUTIFUL, STRONG, TALENTED, AMAZING MOMMY ASH!!! AND A TRUE FRIEND TO ME! YOU HAVE CHANGED MY LIFE FOR THE BETTER IN MANY WAYS!! I LOVE YOU!! THANK YOU!
The Hendricks
LOVED it, every word of it. Amen.
HunDuddle Hussy
ur so special to me 🙂 clicking all the other "this girl" links made me feel like dookie. i want those talents and other junk.
thanks for thinking of me. ur more awesome than you know. trust me 🙂
Sarah @ The Bird's Papaya
this post just makes me happy.
You just reminded me to be thankful and appreciate myself, as I am, just a little bit more.
As for those stretch marks, yah…um, I have just a few…they are my "war wounds" or my "stripes of honor" hahaha. What can I say after three kids, two being in the 9lb range?
love it!
Thanks for all you do.
Amanda
i coudln't have said it better myself, FOR myself! if you only knew how many of us can relate so deeply.
perfect, you may not be, but no one, NO ONE is. but, you're the perfect "you". 🙂
Leslie
YOU ROCK!
xoxo
Sascha
I went to Vegas this past Summer with my three kids and I finally came to the stark realization that I will never, ever wear a bikini again. Luckily I didn't find out while wearing one! I smartly packed a swimsuit. You know what? I'm okay with the new me. Thank you for letting us into your personal life in such a touching way.
Christina
Well said. 🙂
xoxo
luv4jack
I LOVE this post. It made me smile, when I read the unnecessary comment posted yesterday,it made me so sad. Especially, since I understand the courage it takes to share a secret such as ours. You are an amazing, and beautiful person inside and out. It's hard to take something hurtful someone publicly posts with a grain of salt, and I admire your honesty, courage, and self-worth! I have to admit you handled this with such class. You go girl! xoxo
:o) mg
That gets a standing ovation from this end of cyberspace!
Birdie
I'm takin' it. Love this blog and your honesty! Keep doing what you love 🙂
amycornwell
Love it! Especially the part about the love handles from eating ice cream as a family – so me! 🙂 Great post today!
Karri
I love that you eat ice cream with your family. 🙂
Stunning-
Fabulous as always!
Thanks for giving us meaningful posts time after time.
The Painted Cottage
thank you for SUCH an awesome post! again! you are such an inspiration and your honesty is AMAZING! don't ever let anyone get you down … there are too many of us who LOVE to read your heartfelt words! xo!
– Lauren
Mommy
I'm a new follower what a cute blog! I'd love a follow back @ http://myadventures-in-mommyland.blogspot.com/
Lisa
I'll take it!! I just found your blog recently and enjoy it so much – love that you are your own self!
Jenni
i love your blog, every honest piece of it…thank you for being who you are.
i don't comment every time, but i am a faithful follower and have been for quite some time.
keep being you sista! you are beautiful, inside and out.
ilene @ muchloveilly
this was so beautiful and inspiring. thanks for sharing your heart, friend. you are utterly gorgeous – in and out!
ilene @ muchloveilly
this was so beautiful and inspiring. thanks for sharing your heart, friend. you are utterly gorgeous – in and out!
ilene @ muchloveilly
this was so beautiful and inspiring. thanks for sharing your heart, friend. you are utterly gorgeous – in and out!
zoo keeper
your right Jess IS strong obviously because she got her eyebrows tattooed.
but seriously wouldn't it be an amazing world if we all really knew how incredible we ARE if we could feel for ourselves even a little bit of what our father in heaven feels for us.
it's good to be reminded that we're all in the same boat.
Jayna Rae
You are such a wonderful woman for sharing this. I am trying to get in this frame of mind. Trying to move beyond secret jealousies that I harbor. You are an inspiration that it can be true with some patience and reliance on God's guidance.
Mejia Mamma
godddd I love love LOVE this post…you said it all so damn perfectly – that is like, what should be entered next to "mom" in a dictionary as the definition. Period. Cheers to that from one 'momma' (or 'mamma') to another!
Savannah
Well said! I just wanted to let you know that you've inspire me! Your very talented and im greatful for "the blogging world" to ive gotten to read other peoples stories and know that i am not alone in this whole mothering world and in life, so Thank you for that!
Bekka
Having watched my body change in ways I never imagined over the past 8 months, I really needed to read this.
Thank you!
Cris Davis
I adore you! Everyone has faults that we either try to hide or embrace. You make everyone proud that you have embraced yours. Others struggle with just acknowledging them.
One day, they will either forget they ever commented, or realize that they have recessed back into a high school mentality (if they ever left it behind in the first place).
You have so many bloggers that read you and just readers in general, that look up to you for your tenacity, courage, and easy beauty.
We never realize how much certain words can hurt us. In high school I was always wounded by "anorexic", "bulimic", "flat chested". Then it escalated because the kids knew they could get a rise out of me. They told me I should kill myself, that no one would miss me, that it wouldn't matter. To top it off the people telling me this were the girls I called my best friends.
Subsequently, I've had the hardest time making friends. The few people that are around me understand I am awkward on the phone, hard to keep a conversation going, and can be a bit weird. I thought I would always grow up to be the one that you could call and talk to when your boyfriend dumps you, or you wake up in the middle of the night and can't get back to sleep. Because of how scarred I am due to my so called friends, I am not the one that gets those calls. I can count my friends on one hand, and have no "best friend" that I am not married to. My husband and I have been through this together, and he does suffer as a consequence by losing his own friends since I need him to fill in for those that I have had to "delete" from my life. I've gotten better on the needing him here but still get lonely incredibly fast (I have been diagnosed with manic depression, treated, but stopped taking meds when I got pregnant). The few friends I had accumulated from that short time frame, quickly fell away because I realized that beside them not being able to handle me at my worst, they were just superficial friends. During the worst times, I would cut, and even told my parents about it. At the same time, I wanted to be a model. I wanted the love and adoration that it appeared models get from the fame, money, etc. I didn't have the courage to go after that dream.
I've let what people say mold me into being someone that has become a loner, a hermit at times, and wish that I had the support system back then and now to realize that I do have people that care, that love me, that want to be my friends. I'm lucky to have the wonderful family I have.
Sorry to go off on a tangent, but I want you to realize (and I hope you see) that for the one or two comments that are questioning your character (or just don't understand) there are about a thousand willing to go to bat for you.
Suzi Q
DUH. This is why I read your blog. Plus we are 1 in the same!
The Durr's
Um..I love this! Thanks for posting it! It's just what I needed after feeling like I've had a "fat day". You are an inspiring lady and I thank you for your blog 🙂
Sparks Family
thats why we love you and why you are an inspiration.
Shelley
Ugh… some people! This is YOUR blog, YOU decide what to post. If someone doesn't like it then their little fingers need to click them somewhere else. Right now I'm wishing there was a way to smack them upside the head with a sock full of dog poop. Ha!
For what it's worth I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE your blog!!! I keep coming back because I can't get enough of your refreshing honesty about being human, being a mommy, etc. It's so nice to know there are other mommies out there just like me. Please, don't change a thing!
Kristy
I LOVE this post! It's so refreshing to read such truths!
Also,I recieved the stylish blogger award and I am now passing it on to you! You can check out my blog to pick it up.
Taylor @ The Undomestic Momma
love love love this post! It is exactly what I needed to read today. Thanks so much for always being so honest in your blogs..its an inspiration! I need to learn to embrace my after baby after chemo look and you have seriously helped me with this post! Thank you! xoxo
Jenna
I love this post and I want to copy & paste it on my blog! Thanks for sharing what every woman feels! You're so good are writing it out, I wish I could do it!
Heather
I love everything you wrote. I wish I had seen this last night when my 9y.o. little girl was crying…while I said a lot of what you wrote it might help her to read this too. I plan to share it with her. I have just become your newest follower.
Kerstin@TheRealHousewivesofIdaho.blogspot.com
Perfectly said! As women we definitely should be more supportive (and less judgementa1!) We judge ourselves enough. I don't get why were are so hard on each other. It's awful.
Kelli
What a wonderful post, thank you so much for sharing. Your words are ones that I too feel. We all want to be better but most importantly I want to be me and be a happy me!! I look forward to all your post, thank you so much for your words of wisdom and inspiration!
xoxo
Kelli @ loveoursimplelife.blogspot.com
Carmen @ Life with Sprinkles on Top
Amen! Wonderful post!
Ali Rockwell
This is pretty perfect. I love all of it.
Jennifer
I too am a momma. A momma of 4 young children. I believe life is too short. God created me for who I am for a reason. Nothing more, nothing less. Wanting and needing to have everything perfect is not His intention, His purpose.
I've come to a point in my life not to worry (try, really try) about what I don't have or want rather than give everything to Him and let Him do all the work. Not to worry about anything, since worrying is a sin and pulls me down. So giving it up to Him allows peace and love in my heart and shows its true self not only to my family, but everyone around me.
Making a better you in a sense of growing closer to God in his word (and thru it) along with fellowship with others will become great acheivement than everything else this world has to offer. Don't you think?
SuzyQSparkles
What a beautiful tribute to embracing yourself, while recognizing things so many of us feel!
Heather
Sometimes, meaning all the time I wish I could be as open, honest, and selfless as the writer of THIS blog. You share all of your flaws with us (which by the way…I have each and every one!) yet you are just the cutest, most talented, and well dressed momma ever!
Amy
You're adorable! Screw anyone that has a problem with it! MUAH!
Jen @ tatertotsandjello.com
You are so so fabulous Ashley. We all love you and love you even more with your flaws.
I adore you!
xxox
Jen
Lexie Loo & Dylan Too
Very well said! More women need to have your attitude!
Lexie Loo & Dylan Too
Very well said! More women need to have your attitude!
Lexie Loo & Dylan Too
Very well said! More women need to have your attitude!
Dani
Beautifully said. I am in the Young Womens and organization in our church and this is something I want them to learn now. It is so hard to even learn as an adult great job. I hope it touches all who read it. I hope my daughters learn young their worth and how incredible they are. That it is okay to want to do better but it is better to love who you are now.
Sa-Sea Boutique
love it!!!!!!!!!! such a great post!
xoxo
Logan and Sydney
Some people are just plain grumpy…but luckily, you're not one of them!!! Just be you. You are one of the only bloggers who tell the whole truth, and that's why I read your blog. I read it because it makes me feel like I'm not the only one that is not "perfect". Thanks:)
Debbie - Families and Literacy
Thanks for your positive outlook! As someone who continually struggles with wanting to be other people, it really is important to remember to be the best SELF that you can be. You are wonderful!
Jess
amen sister!
The Bratzel's
Ok seriously. . you NEED to write a book!! Everytime I look on your blog, I read something that touches me in some way or another and bawl like a baby with gas! Sadly, my little one had much of that last night so I know it all to well 🙁 . .But I just wanted you to know that You Inspire me and are an Amazing women! <3 Lacie
Sara
Hi,I'm Sara and I love your blog! I just started my own and need some followers:) I would love to send you a bag to use and hopefully blog about! Let me know what you think. I tryed to go to your contact label but the .com would not go through. You can email me at saralyn88@juno.com I would be glad to send you a picture of this bag. Thanks Sara
Sara
Hi,I'm Sara and I love your blog! I just started my own and need some followers:) I would love to send you a bag to use and hopefully blog about! Let me know what you think. I tryed to go to your contact label but the .com would not go through. You can email me at saralyn88@juno.com I would be glad to send you a picture of this bag. Thanks Sara
Johanson Family
Ashley,
You really do a great job of speaking words that I wish I could get myself to write down! I love how you gave compliments to your blog friends and I imagine they truely appreciate it! Great Post!
Michelle Mollner
LMM, I'm sure proud of you… of the Little Momma you've become and the caring and giving friend you are to others. I'll take you just the way you are each and every day. I love you.
Brian and Elizabeth Shelley
Thank you for writing this post. Sometimes it is hard to not compare yourself and it made me feel good to know someone else has felt the same way. THANK YOU!
Chrissy
I wanted to share with you that your openness has opened a new side of me. I posted my secret today on my blog and thought I would share it with you too. Thanks for being you Ashley
http://jackieandtina.blogspot.com/2011/01/who-am-i.html
Katrina
Hello there,
Just stopping by from Serenity Now (saw your link from the "blog party") and I just wanted to thank you for writing this post. It hits home in a lot of ways.
Love your blog 🙂
Paula
I'm visiting from Amanda's party. I'm sorry that you received a negative comment and think that it is sad that someone feels the need to be mean probably just to feel better about themselves. I think that most all of us are insecure in some way.
Wendy
Awesome post 🙂 Very well said!
Visiting from Serenity Now!
Amanda @ Serenity Now
Two thumbs up for you for taking a negative experience (nasty comments hurt!) and turning into a positive! Your honesty and openness helped a lot of readers. 🙂 Thanks so much for linking up to my party, and also for leaving a comment. 🙂
Patty
AMEN!! You very beautifully put into words what so many of us feel. I am going to follow you, cause I just found a new favorite blog!
Heather
I love your blog because you are so honest about yourself and about your world. You are beautiful, talented, smart, and an excellent writer. I am so grateful that I have this little window into your life and that you're willing to share it with all of us.
I also think you should know that when I was that insecure girl in high school who wanted to look more like you, it meant the world to me that you always treated with kindness and respect.
We ALL have insecurities, including the people you linked in your blog. It's part of what makes us human, and that humanity is what makes us beautiful. Thank you so much for sharing. It's such a pleasure to read you.
Wani
I love your honesty on your blog. I appreciate that you are real and don't hide the hard stuff. It helps the rest of to understand that we are not alone. Keep it up! God bless you!
Theresa @ Just Call Me "T"
AMEN!!!
I'm gonna say what I said on facebook… I cannot believe anyone could make such comments to you or anyone else for that matter. I don't know you, know you but you ROCK! Some ppl have not learned to deal with (or don't want to… or are in denial about) their own insecurities and have chosen to attack others. Sad. :/ Keep on keepin' on girlie! 😀
Blessings & love,
T
Ashley@EisyMorgan
what a wonderful inspiring post, seriously, I really needed to read this…that sometimes the imperfect is much more beautiful! I am crying, really. I am sorry someone was mean to you. I had that today too..someone saying I was ugly and scary, I brushed it off but I still know just what they said, ya know? Another person who just was treating me like I was their slave, and I want to help, I am here to help and I want to be nice…but I had to let her know I wasn't taking it anymore. Sometimes because they can't see your face they think you are not a real person, but we are. I can't imagine what it is like with many more followers! Thank goodness for the awesome support from this community tho. We appreciate you keeping it real, and we will just let the haters hate!
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Kristen
Well said! I feel the same way and am learning to embrace it and see the blessings I’ve been given. Thanks for sharing 🙂
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